SEX IS THE DEVIL!!

I'm sure the whole GTA: San Andreas controversy has been covered and commented on to death, in far better ways than I'd come up with. (See Penny Arcade, Mr. Yerby the plunderer of meagre bandwidth, and a few million other people.) So I'll keep it short for a change.

The game I've played for 150+ hours since October is apparently now so evil that it won't be sold in stores, because the ESRB thinks only 18-year-old "Adults" should play it. "Mature" 17-year-olds, beware! You've been misled! Due to that one-year difference in age, this game will break your brain!

All thanks to an awkward sexual mini-game hidden in the code, that I can't access without a peripheral device, even if I wanted to.

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Now, a tale that could've come from a less sordid version of San Andreas.

After dropping my brother off at work downtown, I'm waiting at a stop sign to turn. I wave at a 60-something-year-old woman on the corner, thinking she wants to cross the road in front of me. Instead of crossing, she comes over to the car, opens the door, and tries to hop in the passenger seat. As I'm trying to keep her out, she says something to the effect of, "Hey gorgeous. You can take me a mile down the road." I don't really remember. I was just trying to keep her out. I make some excuse about having to get home, apologize for some reason, and try to get the hell out of Dodge as quickly as possible.

Lessons Learned:

• Don't leave car doors unlocked.


• Don't be gorgeous.


• Don't accidentally proposition elderly prostitutes.