The Broc Says...

Al-Canaeda is a threat to the United States of Freedom Fries, and must be stopped.

2008-02-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

Terrorism is not funny.
Close our borders before it's too late.
Vote McCain.

To A Good Boat

2007-12-01T10:47:00.000-05:00

May your hull deflect teeth, and your sailors reject bad hats.

Peace out, homie.

Guitar Geekery: 1, Rational Decision-Making: 0

2007-10-28T09:45:00.000-04:00

That picture's bound to haunt me, but what the heck.

My plan to hold off on buying Guitar Hero III didn't pan out so well.

The nearby Wal-Mart stayed open after midnight to launch the game, and they just happened to have the cheapest price in town, which was the priority for me. When I got there at about 12:10, there was a line from the customer service desk to pretty near the doors. Took maybe 10-15 minutes, all the while at the back of the line, and I was on my merry way with my new guitar-less PS2 version. I believe this was my first midnight launch, though I did briefly wait in line for GTA: San Andreas when EB Games decided to release it the evening before its release date.

Now, some grievances about the game:

The load times aren't great. There's even a load screen to start the game. It'll sometimes crawl into the main career menu, where your character is rendered and posing for no particular reason. And you have to re-load the level to restart the song. This is one of the things that really turned me off of Burnout Revenge for the PS2, though it's not nearly as bad in this case. It was an instantaneous return to the start of the song in GH2, so this is a clear step backwards.

Along the same lines, it takes about 10 seconds each time to Autosave.

I still have to manually set the thing to Progressive Scan every time I start the game. If you're worried about it loading in 480p on an SDTV, tell people to remove their memory card, rather than having me go through the same process ad nauseum.

The game's already frozen on me once.

The Top Rockers, or high scores section of the options is something I've wanted. But it doesn't take scores from Career Mode. What the heck?

Some parts of the game look good, but certain parts seem like they're ripped from some of the better-looking PS1 games. Close-ups on members of the crowd are especially bad. It's not as though the first two games were technical marvels, but they didn't distract me with pixelated textures, jaggies, and really stiff animation.

The pace of the tutorial seemed really slow. I don't know if this was because of loading, or by design.

Finally, the product placement. So far, I've seen the Pontiac Garage as a venue, and a freaking Axe Body Spray guitar. I'm not usually one to harp about "selling out." But between this stuff, the over-priced downloadable songs, the My Chemical Romance theme pack, the wired Xplorer being packed with GH2 360, claiming they couldn't make it wireless, only to conveniently resolve the issue for GH3... It's annoying to be losing the more indie charm of the first two games, in lieu of making the franchise just another money-making machine. I hate to complain about giving the customer choice, but having the game on every console known to man kind of contributes to this feeling as well.

And yet... it's still Guitar Hero. I'm gonna play it to death, and I'm gonna have fun. For the time being, that's all that really matters.

Neversoft Loves 'Em Some 3-Note Chords

2007-10-22T04:41:00.000-04:00

This much becomes clear after watching a handful of Guitar Hero III clips.

Queens of the Stone Age - 3's & 7's

AFI - Miss Murder

The Smashing Pumpkins - Cherub Rock

Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby

Kudos to YouTube user pdtecrj. Plenty more vids on the profile page.

I've been waiting for 3's & 7's, and it seems to keep the tradition of fun, yet aggravating Queens of the Stone Age songs alive, which No One Knows started in the original.

Seeing that song alone re-invigorated the ol' GH passion that's been substantially quelled, thanks to my PlayStation 2's recent residence at my sister's place. (Something tells me she'll be returning it soon. ) I've made a vow to myself that I won't buy the PS2 version, since I'm planning to get an Xbox 360 come Boxing Day, and I don't have the money to be buying games twice.

However, if I can't find a rental copy, my bank account is doomed.

Adrianne Curry NVIDIA GeForce Tech Demo Video

2007-09-19T19:12:00.000-04:00

Original Video Post

I was fiddling with some NVIDIA GeForce 8600/8800 tech demos today, particularly the Adrianne one. Just because she's more interesting to look at than a frog, and there's more settings to goof around with. I found playing around with the lighting sources especially cool.

The model is Adrianne Curry, winner of the first season of America's Next Top Model. Click for a short interview with her, regarding gaming, and the motion capture process.

Specs (all at factory speeds):
Athlon 64 3000+
BFG GeForce 8600GT OC 256MB
1GB DDR400

Running at:
1152x864
8x Multisample AA

Bob Saget

2007-08-06T00:34:00.000-04:00

Click for full size

As if I needed another reason to not watch CNN

2007-06-26T19:30:00.000-04:00

The past 25 hours have been rough. I'm not sure how to react when you start out angry, go to completely crushed that a hero is dead, only to find out he killed his own family. The "hero" part definitely starts to fade, and quickly.

Nevertheless, this picture and headline are beyond weak.

http://blog.anonymousbroccoli.com/2007-06-26/benoitcnn.jpg

I am so pissed off right now.

2007-06-25T19:30:00.000-04:00

I'm pissed that I can't even fully trust that this is true, since WWE is so thoroughly tasteless with its product, so often. Vince McMahon is currently "dead" for all intents and purposes.

I'm pissed that another one of my heroes is gone, possibly because the wrestling business I love is so completely fucked up.

And I'm pissed that, probably because of the above, CNN would rather play a story regarding a lawsuit about dry cleaned pants than even mention this.

I can't even bring myself to cry, and I cry during fucking reality shows.

God damn it.

You Know You're A Pasty White Boy When...

2007-06-17T19:57:00.000-04:00

...You get sunburned sitting in the shade.

Had a good Father's Day today. My dad, brother and I went to my aunt, uncle and cousin's place (I probably hadn't seen them in 8-10 years) to visit them and my grandpa. While I'm never a big fan of spending a lot of time outside (sun, heat, allergies, bugs, etc.), it was still a fun, relaxing afternoon. My cousin's turned out to be a pretty cool guy, complete with shin and shoulder tattoos, which grandpa took to poking fun at. (His shoulder just happened to be sunburned as well, from a trip to the beach. His explanation? "She was cute!")

If it pleases the court, the defence would like to call into question the preceding statements brought forth by the shifty, sweaty, beady-eyed witness.

Wait, that's not right...

Click to see full size

Not only did I get a spiffy new DS game in Phoenix Wright, there was a bonus of some Nintendo Power-esque envelope art. ¡Viva la Lae! (As an addendum: Sweet Jebus @ the cleavage on Mia Fey. )

I also picked up Metroid Prime Pinball on sale this past week, in addition to Brain Age arriving. Astro Boy: Omega Factor and Drill Dozer should be delivered in the coming days. I may nab Puzzle Quest if I find a good price. Between Halo, the DS, and all the DS/GBA games, June has been, by far, my biggest month of game accumulation since the turn of the century. And it's only half done.

Local Man Ceases Indolence, Is Rewarded

2007-06-09T17:24:00.000-04:00

Got my first pay cheque in several years yesterday. Also picked up my first DS game in Mario Kart DS. Brain Age should arrive from an eBayer next week, and Lae was generous enough to send me a copy of one of the Phoenix Wright games (I'm guessing the original).

The concept of having money is so foreign to me, I'm not really sure what to do with it. I don't have enough to do anything terribly substantial yet, but I'm considering the possibilities.

I don't really want a Wii, PS3, or Xbox 360 at this point in time. I'm still waiting on Microsoft to fix their hardware so I'm not extorted into buying a warranty, and the other two need some games. I was thinking I'd save up, and wait for another $1,000 CRT HDTV to go on sale. But since I started working, I'm hardly watching any TV, which is almost as mind-boggling as my having a job in the first place.

This is all fairly banal stuff, I know, but it's somewhat new and fresh to me, and I'm excited about it.

I have a cell phone. And a DS. And a job.

2007-06-04T19:46:00.000-04:00

I'll just let the shockwaves subside.

That's right, a job. As in vacating the premises to perform services for other homo sapiens, as part of a working society.

BroccoLae Productions Presents: The Ring (Of Death)

2007-04-22T17:32:00.000-04:00

Click to see full size

Mr. DJ_Lae and I collaborated on this over the past few days, partly in honour of his own busted-ass 360. Hope you like it!

The Slip of Guitar Hero Fame on Conan Tonight

2007-02-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

http://www.nbc.com/conan

If you know them, you surely love them from the original Guitar Hero. Now you can see The Slip perform live! More or less. Watch Late Night with Conan O'Brien tonight (late Monday/Early Tuesday) at 12:35.

As a reminder of their greatness, check out my long-ago-beaten personal best of Even Rats on Hard.

Or, if you don't hate yourself, listen to it, and 3 other songs on their MySpace page.

http://www.myspace.com/theslipmusic

5 Years Of Modding, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

2007-01-19T23:56:00.000-05:00

Yup. I've been wearing the Big Red M / MOD / Badge / Squiggly Monster at GameSpot for 5 big years. As of the 18th, technically.

There actually is a T-Shirt involved. It's not just a clichéd title. And it is anniversary-related, just not so much mine.

The GameSpot crew had a contest in December, where the moderators could win cash, prizes, respect, and a cramped hand. I didn't win, and I didn't really come close. But I did get a shirt.

Since I don't want to display the contours of my man boobs to the world, my bed offered to model it instead:

The lousiness was over-stated in the title. It's a mighty fine shirt. Should I ever become less of a man, its lousiness will be diminished all the more, when I can potentially wear it in front of other people. Until then, it'll either join my similarly small SummerSlam '97 souvenir on the wall, or the two unworn pairs of jeans in my closet.

You see, I have a dream that my two little jeans will one day envelop a body where they will not be judged by the size of their waistline but by the content of their fashionability. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, and we break the shackles of our dank, dusty closet oppressor, we will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old denim spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

5 years of moderately offensive lameness. Hooray!

Why Lara, I Didn't Know You Were French

2007-01-15T18:13:00.000-05:00

During my perennial scouring of eBay, I discovered a decent deal on a copy of Tomb Raider: Legend for the PC from a guy in Quebec. Always one for a cheap game, (not to mention one I've wanted for a few months) I summoned 10 years of French Immersion, 10 years removed, to ask dude about the game. Things more or less checked out, so I went for it.

Fast forward to today. The mailman managed to slide down the icy sidewalk to my house, and left me a present.

Shipped on January 11th. I paid for it early January 5th, but alright. Let's look inside. Seems a little thin...

Hmm. That's not "la version anglaise" I was told it would be. In fact...

I do believe .fr stands for FRANCE.

Ok, I should still technically be able to play the game, despite being an import. PCs are good that way. Let's look inside...

No sir, I don't like it. If I wanted the instructions to The Angel of Darkness, I would have bought that particular weaksauce game.

And the proverbial sour cherry on top, the "PResque neuf!" (almost new) DVD is scratched. Not badly, but enough. You can't really see it, but I tossed the pictures in anyhow. They look kinda cool. Especially with the dirty disc.

What can I say? My attraction to a bargain overtook my good sense. I probably should have assumed that someone with 3 feedback, selling games like "TOM RAIDER LEGEND," "Dark Messaih MIGHT AND MAGIC," "HITMAN BLOOD & MONEY," and "Tom Cleney Splinters cell pendora tomorrow," all under the video game accessories category wouldn't be the greatest person to buy from. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for possibly not speaking much English. (Even though the game's logos, with proper spelling, are the same, French version or not.)

2 Weeks Down

2007-01-13T13:46:00.000-05:00

First off, happy birthday to my Chlorophyll Companion, my Salad Bar Sidekick, the Rasputin of Ruffage, Mr. VeggieOverlord.

Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks since I started a light exercise routine, consisting of the following:

Wake up between 2 and 4AM
Easy stretching of my legs and back for 40-60 minutes
A walk around the neighbourhood, I'm guessing anywhere from 1.5 to 3km
And/or 20-40 minutes on the stationary bike
Maybe a little more stretching

Nothing terribly organized. It mostly depends on the weather, and how I feel on the early morning in question.

I wasn't aiming to start in the New Year's timeframe. (Early New Year's Eve, specifically.) Just kinda happened that way. I've been doing the same sort of thing on and off (mostly off) for the past year, but I figure I should keep at it this time.

So far, I don't feel especially great. Mostly sore. Between my hip, knees, back, and various other half-atrophied muscles, my crackling corpse isn't taking to things terribly well.

Once I hit February, I'll see about pushing the pace a little more, and working on the diet, as long as I don't feel totally broken.

"O Christmas Wii" (or "This Type Of Geekery Would Earn Me A Wedgie In High School")

2006-12-28T08:35:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, there was a young man with dreams aplenty. Dreams of dicing Dekus with a slice of Link's sword. Of plugging Raving Rabbids with pungent plungers. Of... bowling? Surely!

Such reverie seemed too good to come true.

Along came a holiday known as Christmas. A time when presents, food and family are abundant, and retail employees hate their lives. (Jesus also plays a part.)

O Christmas Wii, O Christmas Wii, much pleasure dost thou bring me!

Alas! The box is empty! Woe is me! There is no Wii! What cursed demon would devise such a cruel scheme?

Hark! What's this? A note? Oh blessed be, there is a Wii! My hopes were not betrayed, the gift was simply delayed!

The young man was delighted at his eventual Wii, and the dreams multiplied.

Samus blasting Pirates, Mario in space. Classics from the past awaiting embrace.

Mario Kart's coming would be such a blast. To hear Wario-like wailing when shelled, and then passed.

Your patient is wounded, so stitch him together. A life has been saved. Now, a check of the weather.

Smash Brothers Brawling with playful disdain. (Oh wait, that's right, I don't like that game.)

Interactive fun is what we await. Forget about Red Steel, clashing lightsabres will be great.

For gaming enjoyment, the near future is bright. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Ho Ho Ho!

2006-12-25T02:56:00.000-05:00

Click Me And Be Merry!

If my embedded MIDI and disturbing visage didn't crash your computer, let us continue with more joyousness.

Bear witness to what is simultaneously Justin Timberlake's finest performance, as well as the greatest gift that special lady in your life could ever ask for. If you're a dude, that is. Naughty language, and subject matter that would make Jesus and Santa blush ensues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Thanks to Kim for posting the video at the OR.

So Much Snow, You Could Drown A Hobbit

2006-12-08T10:20:00.000-05:00

Over the past day and a half, our fair town of London, Ontario has been totally buried with snow. They're saying it's the worst storm in roughly 30 years. All schools, including UWO and Fanshawe College are closed, the LTC buses aren't running yet, and all but the main roads are pretty much unplowed. People are being told to stay at home, and not driving, except in case of emergency.

Linked below is what it looked like outside our house at around 8AM today. The family went to a Knights game last night (London got thoroughly thrashed there as well), and got home at around 10PM. We did a sufficient job of clearing out the driveway so we could get back in. So the mass on the grey van, and in the driveway is about 9 hours' worth of snow blowing and falling.

No editing done for now. I just threw them up there. So there may be shots of a trench with dog pee at the bottom in there.

http://photos.yahoo.com/anonymousbroccoli

The last batch are traffic cameras from nearby Toronto and Detroit. This is apparently a very local circumstance. There was literally nothing there on Wednesday, so that's all from yesterday and early today.

Bugs Bunny is a Pimp

2006-12-04T03:38:00.000-05:00

Original Video Page

Seriously. Look at the hat. The confident strut. The pimp slapping technique.

Bugs is such a pimp, he'll even trick himself out for a buck.

Oh snap, son.

FYI, the clip is from the short Bully for Bugs.

Misirlou = Future Misery

2006-10-06T05:07:00.000-04:00

Original Video Page

Above is a quick clip of Brad Shoemaker playing a little Guitar Hero II on yesterday's On the Spot. After making it through Misirlou on Hard, he attempted Expert, and pretty much got his ass handed to him.

I'm still struggling through Bark at the Moon Hard, so I have no idea how I'm going to make it through more than 5 seconds of that.

When Did Final Fantasy 7 Become A Luxury Item?

2006-09-12T12:11:00.000-04:00

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem&item=290026201140

I know FF fankids are jorny about this game like no other fankids are jorny about any other game. But seriously.

What Happens When You Rock with Kleenex In Your Ear?

2006-09-09T07:58:00.000-04:00

You get 5 stars on Bark at the Moon... Easy!

Original Video Page

That final solo's quite a bit different from Expert, eh?

I've been having some problems with the hearing in my right ear for the past few days, and I've been stuffing Kleenex in there to dull the noise. My equilibrium's a little off at times as well. All told, it makes rhythm, and/or music-listening somewhat complicated. So the odd time I have played Guitar Hero, it's been at a lesser difficulty.

I dedicate this video to the wankers all over the world who take the time to troll other people's posts/scores/videos/pictures, basically telling them they suck. You're better at the game. Good for you. There was a time when you sucked too. We may improve to your level some day. But if not, we'll survive, and still have fun with our game.

I can't wait 'til I get my first snotty "I can play that on a real guitar." That will be a glorious day, indeed.

Cheers!

Guitar Hero Video #2 - Hey You (Medium)

2006-09-05T11:31:00.000-04:00

Original Video Page

Didn't take long for me to make a habit out of this.

Hey You by The Exies on Medium - 135,788 score, 371 streak, and 100% of notes hit. Wooba.

And I made myself a Score Hero account for the heck of it. "Graciously Documenting Our Future Arthritis" is right.

My First Gameplay Video

2006-09-05T05:04:00.000-04:00

Original Video Page

I know the quality's rough. It's a combination of somewhat subpar video and audio recording on an otherwise decent digital camera, and a lack of experience knowing what to tweak, what lighting to use, etc.

For the performance itself, it was my personal best on this song. (Rather convenient, since I was just filming to experiment.) Even Rats by The Slip on Hard, which is one of my 3 favourite songs in the game.

I started making some silly mistakes (often indicated by the familiar "miss" sound, followed by a groan) about halfway through after a surprisingly good start. I usually slip up at the transition from the single notes to the Green & Red/Yellow chords, which involves a hand move.

Final score was 226997, with 97% hit, and a 294 streak. Which would currently put me in the enviable 286th position on Score Hero.